Rowan, King of the Room

[Intro]
Rowan walks in, everybody knows
One little grin and the whole room goes—

[Verse 1]
Rowan’s got a short-stack stride, head held high,
Slides past the table like a pocket-size spy.
Then a tiny trumpet from the back of his jeans,
And the whole lunch table cracks up at the scene.
He shrugs, says, “What? I’m just keeping it real,”
While his buddies are laughing and wiping their eyes.
He’s got jokes on deck and a grin that won’t quit,
Turns one little toot to a full comedy bit.

[Chorus]
Rowan, Rowan, king of the room,
One little rumble and the laughter goes boom.
Short on the roster, big with the jokes,
But at the chessboard he’s handing out blunders in rows.
Rowan, Rowan, everybody’s best pal,
Makes us all laugh—then he castles the wrong way somehow!

[Verse 2]
He sits at the chessboard, says, “I’ve got a plan,”
Moves his queen to a square that is guarded by Dan.
His bishop gets trapped, and his rook’s in a jam,
He says, “That was a trick”—yeah, we know that’s a scam.
He forgets that the knight moves in an L-shaped track,
Leaves his king wide open, then he takes it all back.
“Checkmate!” says his friend; Rowan blinks at the board,
“Wait, my king can do that?”—then we’re laughing once more.

[Chorus]
Rowan, Rowan, king of the room,
One little rumble and the laughter goes boom.
Short on the roster, big with the jokes,
But at the chessboard he’s handing out blunders in rows.
Rowan, Rowan, everybody’s best pal,
Makes us all laugh—then he castles the wrong way somehow!

[Bridge]
He may be short, and his chess game’s a mess,
But nobody brings more laughs to the recess.
When the room gets quiet, he knows what to do—
A grin, a little toot, and the whole gang’s through!

[Outro]
Rowan takes a bow, the chess pieces fall,
He’s the funniest guy—and the worst at it all.